I don’t mean to upset any possible newlyweds, tween and teens in the midst of puppy love or those folks that live for the extra attention (and chocolates) on February 14th, but I really don’t like Valentine’s Day.
I didn’t always feel that way. While dating my now husband, it was sweet and romantic to go out to dinner, get a bouquet of red roses, a heart-shaped box of chocolates and listen to all the little words and sentiments that give you that warm and fuzzy feeling.
But then I grew up and life happened. They say with age comes wisdom, right?
Call me crazy, but I prefer being loved and cared for all year long instead of getting a gush of it on one day just because society dictates us to do so. I like to hear “I love you” every now and then and not just in a sappy Hallmark card given to me on the 14th.
And if I don’t get roses or chocolates on February 14th will my life be ruined? I don’t think so.
Every human being has the right to be loved and love in return. Author David Viscott summed it up perfectly by saying,
“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”
We were never created to be alone. Even way back in the book of Genesis, God did not want Adam to be alone in the Garden of Eden so He created Eve.
I have seen too many friends and family who have either lost someone they loved, divorced or had a relationship severed. So when V-Day rolls around I know it takes a toll on their mental health. There is no way they can escape this holiday as you have all your arts and crafts stores, grocery stores, candy stores, and big box stores like Target and Walmart, selling red and pink goodies for Valentine’s.
You see commercials advertising jewelry, clothing, toys and, yes, even vehicles! I don’t know about you, but I have never known anyone who was that wealthy enough to buy their sweetheart a Toyota Rav4!
But before I go on regarding the mental health effect from Valentine’s Day, lets see how it all started.
Per National Geographic, the earliest possible origin of Valentine’s Day was during the Ancient Rome era and the pagan holiday, Lupercalia. It was a holiday that celebrated fertility and would cause men to strip naked and sacrifice an animal, usually a goat.
Then the men would take the hides of the sacrificed animals and whip the women with them. The women believed that being whipped by those animals’ hides would boost their fertility.
After the whipping, men and women would pair up for the night or remaining nights of the festival to, well, “test” that boosted fertility, so to speak!
St. Valentines Day began when the Catholic Church wanted to honor two martyred men, both named Valentine, who were executed on February 14th by Emperor Claudius II in Ancient Rome.
In the 5th Century, Pope Gelasius I combined St. Valentines Day with Lupercalia to banish pagan rituals; however, it was still a day to celebrate love and fertility.
The holiday evolved over the years and writers like Shakespeare and Chaucer romanticized it in their written works. St. Valentine’s Day’s popularity spread throughout Britain and Europe. People started distributing hand-made cards to each other as a symbol of affection.
And then its popularity spread to the New World.
During the Industrial Revolution, factory-made cards began and then in 1913 Hallmark began distributing Valentine Day cards.
And now it has turned into nothing but big profit for the card companies, chocolate/candy companies (read my other post about candy and cancer), jewelry companies and florists.
Which brings me to the mental health impacts of February 14th.
Per a 2022 survey by Cigna, 61% of Americans feel lonely. And when one feels lonely, it can impact not only your mental health, but your physical health as well. You can have heart palpitations, excessive drinking and eating, sleepless nights, and you may feel extra stressed during the day.
So what can you do if are experiencing the V-Day blues today?
- practice self love: do something to appreciate yourself such as taking a bubble bath, reading a good book or watching your favorite movie
- reach out for support: start a conversation with a friend or family member; not everyone on the 14th will be out on a hot date so reach out and talk with someone
- practice mindfulness: keep your mind busy and off of the subject of V-Day; puzzles, coloring books, Lego sets, musical instruments and books will keep your mind focused elsewhere
- limit social media: there will be people posting stories and photos of their Valentines Day evenings on their social media platforms, so put down the phone and avoid feeling discouragement and jealousy
- volunteer: find a church or mission that helps those in need; not only will it keep you busy, but you will walk away feeling happy you helped someone less fortunate
- read the Bible: God loves you more than you will ever know! Read His word to learn how He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for YOU
Valentine’s is only one day and it will be here and gone before you know it. But may I offer a suggestion?
Don’t wait until Valentine’s Day to show your love or appreciation for one another. A compliment every now and then goes a long way. A hug or two doesn’t cost anything. A friendly note on someone’s desk can really cheer them up.
You don’t have to buy love despite what the media says. Remember roses die, candies are eaten and digested, stuffed animals wear with age, and jewelry tarnishes. But love lasts forever.
As always, the Bible says it best! 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 states:
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Happy Love One Another Day!
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